The Waiter Rule

Written by Cammy Jackson

Articles - Business Tips

In 2006, USA Today ran an article titled, "CEO's say 'How you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character.'" 12 CEOs were interviewed, and all came up with a consensus that was titled, "The Waiter Rule." It stated the manner in which an executive treats a waiter is indicative of how he or she will manage a group. If the executive mistreats the waiter, then his or her management style would most likely be condescending and strongly offensive. Sika Giunta, CEO of the technology company, Managed Objects, said such behavior is unacceptable and "an accurate predictor of character because it isn't easily learned or unlearned but rather speaks to how people were raised."

How others treat the CEO says nothing. But how others treat the waiter is like a magical window into the soul. And beware of anyone who pulls out the power card to say something like, "I could buy this place and fire you," or "I know the owner, and I could have you fired." Those who say such things have revealed more about their character than about their wealth and power.

The CEO who came up with "The Waiter Rule", or at least who first wrote it down, is Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson. He wrote a booklet of 33 short leadership observations called 'Swanson's Unwritten Rules of Management". Among those 33 rules is only one that Swanson says never fails: "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person."

"Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with, Swanson writes. "Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles."

"The Waiter Rule" also applies to the way people treat hotel maids, mailroom clerks, bellmen and security guards. Au Bon Pain co-founder Ron Shaich, now CEO of Panera Bread, says he was interviewing a candidate for general counsel in St. Louis. She was "sweet" to Shaich but turned "amazingly rude" to someone cleaning the tables, Shaich says. She didn't get the job.

Shaich says any time candidates are being considered for executive positions at Panera Bread, he asks his assistant, Laura Parisi, how they treated her, because some applicants are "pushy, self-absorbed and rude" to her before she transfers the call to him.

Dave Gould, CEO of Witness Systems, says CEOs who blow up at waiters have an ego out of control. "They're saying, 'I'm better. I'm smarter.' Those people tend not to be collaborative." "To some people, speaking in a condescending manner makes them feel important, which to me is a total turnoff," says Seymour Holtzman, chairman of Casual Male Retail Group, which operates big-and-tall men's clothing stores including Casual Male XL.

CEOs aren't the only ones who have discovered "The Waiter Rule". A November survey of 2,500 by It's Just Lunch, a dating service for professionals, found that being rude to waiters ranks No. 1 as the worst in dining etiquette, at 52%, way ahead of blowing your nose at the table, at 35%.

We all know people who treat people poorly. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person. This rule never fails. How you treat others says a lot about the true makeup of your personality and your true disposition. No matter what your station in life, do you treat others the way you want to be treated? Or do you apply "The Waiter Rule"? 12 out of 12 CEOs can't be wrong.